It was a dark and stormy night. Fred was spending his first night alone in his new apartment. Not long after he lay down to sleep he heard a noise.

Standing there at the foot of his bed was a middle-aged man. The man didn't say anything. He just lifted a gun to his mouth, shot himself in the head, and then disappeared.The next night, Fred was awoken again and saw the same man at the foot of the bed. The man lifted the gun to his mouth, and just as Fred shouted "No don't" the man pulled the trigger, his head exploded, and all evidence of him disappeared.

The following night, when the man appeared out of the darkness, Fred was quick to shout, "Why are you doing this?"

The man said, "Fuck if I know," and shot himself again and disappeared.

The next night, Fred shouted, "I command you to stop."

The man said "ooooh" and blew his head off again.

The following day, Fred did some exhaustive research on the apartment and its former tenants. He learned that the man who lived there killed himself after the woman he loved returned his love letters. Fred looked up the woman and out that the letters were returned automatically after the woman moved. The woman added that she was quite fond of the man and wished she had received his letters. When the man appeared that night, Fred shouted all this out to him very quickly just before he pulled the trigger. The man considered all that Fred told him, said "Pretty Sweet", and floated out the door and up to heaven where toys are free and everyone is in the nude.