I never expected to have my erection caressed by the pelvis of the woman married for five years to my best friend in the whole wide world

But there we were.

For three and a half minutes in the middle of our friend's wedding reception for all to see.
She pressed so close to me, her head against my chest as if she were asleep, as if she were in Junior High again
As if I was in Junior High again, just as frightened and hot and worried about how she would react to my erect penis bruising her hip
I was drunk enough to quell my vision of all our friends standing in a circle, glaring at our bald-faced betrayal
Drunk enough to not worry about the growing stain of pre-ejaculate on the crotch of my tuxedo pants

A wedding reception seems to provide an atmosphere ideal to marital transgressions
Like already married people see all weddings as their rightful terrain
They get pompous
You see on their faces a feeling of superiority over the not yet married
Like single people could never understand the weight of the day

And perhaps they see a wedding as a playground for entertaining temptation
They are able to take more dangerous steps with each other because there should be no reason to be afraid
They are married
Just like the couple everyone showed up to see.
The air of commitment hangs heavy in the room and they feel the need to shrug it off their backs
And a shared understanding is forged with the help of free alcohol

At a wedding reception it always feels like you could open a door and find a fat writhing orgy of married people
Or at least two cousins fucking
It was in such an atmosphere that I was able to enjoy my dance

I met David not long after I left college and we immediately became fast friends
Together we explored the ins and outs of drinking no longer for novelty
But out of necessity
Within a couple of years of Anna's marriage to David I began spending more time with Anna than David
Though very rarely were we without David

At a party, David would go off alone and Anna and I would talk
Usually about David
The conversation would be interrupted when we would both stop to notice and comment on what David happened to have done or said at that moment
This was the nature of our relationship
We shared a love for David
In each other we found someone who could comprehend this love, this thing that was responsible for so much of our happiness

I would not presume to ask you to believe I never had an inappropriate thought about Anna
On the contrary, I devised vast inappropriate strategies
In periods of boredom I would make myself believe I loved Anna
To relieve boredom I often make myself believe I love someone
And occasionally that someone would be Anna

I would go to every effort to be with her and David
Observing her behavior and seeking clues that she shared my feelings
For example, if the neck of her blouse was low-cut and she bent over a table to reach for a bowl of peanuts
Revealing her breasts in their bra
I was certain she was aggressively seducing me
Certain she had worn her good bra with my presence at the party in mind

I would get drunk with the intention of complimenting her, and possibly confessing my feelings for her
At night before sleep I would lay in bed imagining the progress of our relationship
The acknowledgement, the first betrayal, the affair, the confession to David
And after
I even went so far as to envision our inevitable breakup
Because of course no relationship originating from a betrayal ever lasts
This fantasy would usually last about a month at a time
Until something would snap me back into reality like a sudden financial windfall
Or a death in the family

Those three and a half minutes on the dance floor did not occur during a period of boredom
I had been involved with a woman for close to a year and Anna's body was not on my mind

Anna, drunk, pulled
Me, drunk, from
The bar and pushed
Me onto the dance floor and pulled
Me close against her

You have to dance with me now, she said.

It was to be a lark
A lark that ended with my erection
Is there a better way to determine the innocence of an embrace?

I felt her breasts with everything but the palms of my hands
She felt my cock with everything but the palms of her hands
Our bellies rubbed and my cheek felt the warmth of her blush
My knees moved in and out the narrow space between her stockinged thighs

For three and a half minutes I held her as my wife
My eyes were closed as I felt this wonderful body wrapped around me and I imagined
David

David sitting with a drink at a table watching us
Feeling a bit more unsure with every turn we took
But also, the fool in me hoped, enjoying the vision?
We simply found ourselves holding each other
My hand low enough on her back to locate the waistband of her underwear
And it felt wonderful

And when the song ended Anna mocked a little dip in my arms
And we returned to David's table
From where he might have watched our three and a half minute slow dance
Anna kissed David's smiling face
I tried to shrink my erection with a sip of vodka
"I'm a wonderful dancer," she told her husband.
And the three of us never mentioned the three and a half minute slow dance again.