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Tuesday November 13, 2007 |
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One Day You’re Going To Make A Spring Break Comedy And Everyone Who Ever Made Fun Of You Will Feel Like A Fool Day!
Today after the senior talent show, when your short film, a tone poem put to celluloid, is greeted with a chorus of boos and building chant of “Ho-MO! Ho-MO! Ho-MO!” you’re going to be dragged out back behind the bleachers and beaten to a bloody mess then left face down in a puddle of mud. Your tormentors will walk away laughing with joy. You’ll stay put.
You’ll spy a worm struggling to get out of the dirt. You’ll commiserate.
“One day we’ll both show them what we’re capable of, won’t we worm?” you’ll whisper to the worm. “I’ve written a script, worm. It’s for a full length feature film, a spring break comedy called Nipples Cove. One day my film will be shot and it will be embraced by everyone who ever harmed me or doubted me or tried to keep me down. I’ll give them my heart on the screen and they’ll embrace it. And I’ll allow them to apologize for what they’ve done, and I’ll forgive them. I will, worm. You have to forgive. It’s what makes you better than them. Nipples Cove. Don't miss it, worm.”
“Dude the homo’s talking to the mud,” one of your tormentors will shout. “Let’s kick his ass again.”
They’ll all come running back and they’ll hold your face in the puddle of mud, until the day turns tragic.
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Happy One Day You’re Going To Make A Spring Break Comedy And Everyone Who Ever Made Fun Of You Will Feel Like A Fool Day!
